Co-parenting is NOT for the faint of heart, especially when the other parent is out here acting like maturity is optional.
But here you are. Showing up. Choosing peace. And trying your absolute best to not let his dysfunction knock you off your block.
Honestly, as a 100% solo mom, I can just imagine how challenging co-parenting with a difficult parent could be.
So let’s chat about it.
🥴 When You Want to Cuss But Choose Calm
There will be moments—plenty of them—where grace feels like the last option on the menu. When plans fall through, communication is trash, or he pulls one of those, “I’ll let you know”, moves after you planned your entire week around his raggedy schedule.
But here’s the truth: Grace isn’t about him. It’s about you.
It’s about not letting someone else’s messiness infect your peace. It’s about taking the high road, not because he deserves it, but because your energy is too precious to waste on somebody being petty.
💁🏽♀️ Grace ≠ Gullible
Now let me be clear: grace doesn’t mean letting him walk all over you. It doesn’t mean silencing yourself or shrinking to keep the peace.
Grace is responding without retaliation. It’s saying what needs to be said—firmly and with boundaries—but without burning the house down just to prove a point.
It’s:
“I’m not okay with how this was handled. Let’s find a better way to move forward.”
NOT
“See, this is why you’ll never be—[insert full read here].”
👶🏽 Your Child Is Always Watching
Even when they’re little. Even when you think they don’t understand. They are absorbing everything—the tension, the tone, the way you react when the phone rings and it’s him.
Co-parenting with grace models emotional intelligence, resilience, and stability. And when your child sees you navigating chaos with calm, it teaches them how to handle hard things with dignity.
And that? That’s legacy work.
✨ So How Do You Keep It Cute (and Not Combative)?
Here are a few things that can help:
Have your boundaries in writing. Text. Email. Whatever. Document agreements and expectations so there’s less room for gaslighting and more room for accountability.
Vent privately, not in front of the kids. Your feelings are valid. Rant to your homegirl, therapist, or journal. Just don’t hand that emotional weight to your baby.
Stop expecting him to be who he’s never been. Accept what it is so you can stop being disappointed by what it’s not.
Choose your battles wisely. Not everything deserves a response. Some things just deserve silence and a “Noted.”
💐 The Grace Is for You, Too
Give yourself grace for the moments you slip up. The times you do pop off, or feel bitter, or break down in your car after another no-show.
This ish is hard.
But you’re doing it. You’re protecting your peace, putting your child first, and walking in growth—even when it’s inconvenient, uncomfortable, or completely unfair.
And THAT is the definition of strength wrapped in softness.
So the next time he tests your patience, take a breath, fix your crown, and remind yourself:
Grace isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom.
Love, light, & grace,
Tiera Nicole
great post ! i got a chapter about co-parenting in my book.