When Your Baby Isn’t a Baby Anymore

Coping with the Back-to-School Emotions

I won’t lie, every year is getting harder and harder for me. Not the fifty million supplies list, or which outfit he’ll look super cute in. Naw those are easy. It’s realizing that my baby, who I swear was just pooping in his diaper two days ago, isn’t a baby anymore. Is it just me?

It hits you in the little things first. They want to pick out their own outfits now. They sling that backpack over their shoulders like they’re grown. They walk into the classroom with a little more confidence than last year. And suddenly, you’re the one in the car line, holding back tears while all you see is the kicked up dust from their shoes as they bolt into the school... without even as much as a peak back.😩😩

Nobody really prepares us for the emotional side of these milestones. We’re told to celebrate them, but there’s also this quiet grief that comes with watching our babies grow up. It’s a strange mix of pride and heartbreak. On one hand, I’m so proud of the big boy he’s becoming. But on the other, I want my baby back.

And as solo moms, this can hit even harder. Because so much of their growth is tied to the sacrifices we’ve made ALONE. No partner to rely on. No balancing act. We always talk about having an identity outside of our children but that’s often easier said than done. It begins to beg the question, “what will become of my life once they no longer need me?”. Watching them step into a new season of independence is beautiful but it can also feel like a reminder that time waits for no one—not even mama.

So what do we do with all these emotions? Feel them. Cry in the car. Take pictures (no matter how much it annoys them) to freeze these moments in time. And then remind ourselves that this is what we’ve been working toward all along—raising confident, capable kids who can step into the world with their heads held high.

The truth is, they’ll always be our babies, even as they outgrow their car seats, the hand-holding, and the constant “mama, mama, mama.” Every stage comes with a new version of closeness, a new kind of love, and yes, a new layer of letting go.😮‍💨

So if you find yourself wiping tears in the school parking lot, know you’re not alone. I was just there last week. And just like our little ones, we’re growing and finding our way in this new chapter as well.

Your baby may not be a baby anymore but they’ll forever be your heart walking around outside your body. And no school bell, no matter how loud, could ever change that. ❤️