What Men Get Wrong About Dating Solo Moms
Let’s clear something up real quick: dating a single mom is not a charity project, a struggle meal, or a characteristic flaw. Yet somehow, some men stay loud and wrong when it comes to what dating a single mom actually looks like. So today, we’re setting the record straight—for the numb nuts who need it and for my boo thangs who might need the reminder.
1. They Think We’re “Desperate”
This one always gives me a good chuckle. Somewhere along the way, society told men that single moms should be grateful for attention—as if we’re sitting by the phone, hoping somebody chooses us. Like literally no man in existence finds us desirable.
Let me help you out: most single moms are extremely selective. We have kids, responsibilities, routines, and peace to protect. If you’re in our space, it’s because we want you there—not because we need you.
And let me tell you, in the six years that I’ve now been a single mother, I’ve never had an issue finding an abundance of eligible suitors who wanted to not only be with me but fully commit to me and my son.
2. They Assume the Child Comes With Drama
Men hear “single mom” and immediately picture baby daddy chaos, nonstop arguments, and court dates every other week. While that may be true for some, it is far from universal.
Many of us have healthy co-parenting situations or we’ve learned how to manage things quietly and effectively. Or we are truly rolling solo with no drama from another parent whatsoever and thriving.
What we won’t do is invite unnecessary confusion into our lives. Peace is expensive honey, and we’ve already paid for it.
3. They Think Our Time Isn’t Valuable
Here’s the thing: if a solo mom is giving you her time, that means something. We don’t have the luxury of spontaneity like we used to. Babysitters, schedules, school nights—it all has to be considered.
So no, we’re not “doing too much” because we plan ahead. We’re being responsible. If that feels like pressure, you may not be ready for grown-woman dating. Besides, most of us are over 35 and ain’t got time for the nonsense anyway; single mom or not.
4. They Believe They’ll Always Come Second
Yes, our children are a priority. That doesn’t mean there’s no room for love, partnership, or intimacy. It means we know how to juggle because we’ve been doing it for years.
A secure man understands that loving a single mom doesn’t mean competing with her child. It means joining a life that already has structure, love, and purpose.
And if he was really showing up like he was supposed to, he would see how amazing a single mom is at managing multiple things at once.
5. They Think We’ve Lost Our Femininity
Somewhere between car drop offs and lunch packing, people assume solo moms forget how to be soft, romantic, or desirable. That couldn’t be further from the truth.
Single moms are some of the most emotionally intelligent, nurturing, and resilient women you’ll ever meet. We’ve been through things and that depth shows up in how we love, communicate, and show up for the people who deserve us.
We may have to play both parental roles but we haven’t forgotten who we truly are. And it’ll take that special man to nourish that side of us so that we feel safe enough to allow him to see it.
The Bottom Line
Dating a single mom isn’t a downgrade, it’s an upgrade for the right person. We know who we are, what we want, and what we will no longer tolerate. If that intimidates someone, that’s not our burden to carry.
And to my boo thangs reading this: never shrink, overexplain, or apologize for the life you’re living. The right man will see your motherhood as part of your magic—not a liability.
And that’s on Adam and Eve…
P.S. If this post hit a little close to home, my book, A Rose Is Still a Rose: The Journey to Rediscovering You (After Relationship Trauma), is for the woman who’s been bent, bruised, and tried—but never broken. If relationship trauma made you forget who you were, this book walks you back home to yourself, reminding you that your worth never wilted.
Pick up your copy today and let’s bloom together! https://a.co/d/2JOPnU0