The “Non-Dating” Phase

Why I’m Intentionally Staying Single & What I’m Learning About Myself.

Look, we need to have a real heart-to-heart. If you’ve been following my journey, you know 2024 didn’t just bang on my door—it kicked it down. That breakup was terrible. It was the kind of soul-shattering ending that leaves you standing in the middle of your living room wondering whose life you’re actually living.

For a minute there, I felt like a puzzle with missing pieces. But instead of rushing out to find someone else to fill those gaps, I did something I never thought I’d have the courage to do: I closed the door. I locked it. And I decided to stay single—on purpose.

Welcome to my “Non-Dating” phase. And honestly? It’s the best gift I’ve ever given myself.

Finding the Woman I Lost

After the dust settled from 2024, I realized I didn’t even know what I liked to eat for dinner when someone else wasn’t choosing the menu. I had spent so much time dating around and being a mom that “Me” was buried under decades of expectations.

I needed to rediscover who God created me to be—not who a man wanted me to be, or who the world told me I should be. I had to get to know this woman all over again. I’m talking about the deep stuff: my peace, my triggers, my actual dreams, and the way I like my coffee without someone complaining about how it’s bad for my health. Mind your business sir!

The Great Discovery

Here’s the part that really messed with my head (in the best way possible), I realized that all those things I was out here begging for and seeking in men? I already had them.

I was looking for protection, but I realized I’m my own best advocate. I was looking for validation, but God had already called me worthy. I was looking for someone to “complete” my home, but the joy and laughter coming from me and my son is already a whole vibe. I found the security, the stability, and the deep, Godly love I was chasing right here within myself.

Does it Get Lonely?

Now, let’s be for real—I’m your boo thang, so I’m not going to lie to you. Some nights, the silence is a little too loud. I still desire companionship. I still believe in love, and I absolutely hope that one day, when the time is right, I’ll find that “person” to share life with again. I haven’t closed my heart for good; I’ve just put a “Under Renovation” sign on the door.

I am not settling for company just to avoid loneliness.

The Love of a Lifetime

This season is about my love for self. It’s about being so rooted in who I am that if someone does eventually walk into my life, they aren’t coming in to save me, they’re coming in to join the beautiful life I’ve already built with my son.

If you’re fresh out of a breakup or just feeling like you’ve lost your spark, don’t be afraid of the silence. Stay single for a minute. Date yourself. Pray over yourself. Learn your own rhythm. Because once you find yourself, you’ll realize you were the prize all along.

Are you in a season of “Me” right now, or are you scared to take that leap into solo-hood? Let’s talk about it in the comments. We’re in this together.