You know that word "sorry"? As a single mom, it feels like it’s the tax we pay for just existing. We say it when we’re late, when the house is a mess, when our kid decides to have a meltdown in aisle five. We whisper it to ourselves when we feel like we're not doing enough.
But I’ve been thinking. So much of what I used to apologize for was just me in survival mode, doing the job of two people.
But I’m done.
I’m officially retiring that word from my vocabulary for things that are simply part of my reality. I’m trading the guilt for grace. If you’ve ever felt the same way, this one’s for you.
So straight up, here’s the list of things I’m no longer saying sorry for:
1. The Unavoidable Screen Time
Look, some days the tablet or tv is my co-parent. It’s the reason I can clean up my WHOLE house, get dinner on the stove, or just have five minutes of peace in the bathroom. My child is safe, entertained, and learning from a dancing fruit. I call that a win.
2. The "We Got Food at Home" Dinner Special
Some nights, dinner is a well thought out meal. Most nights? It's what I call an "A La Carte Plate"—a little bit of this, a little bit of that. Frozen nuggets, an apple, canned veggies, whatever. My job is to make sure my kid is fed and loved. Both are getting done, so my kitchen skills are not up for discussion.
3. Not Being the PTA Supermom
Last year I just knew I was finna be everywhere! But THIS year? That sign-up sheet for the bake sale? I see it, and I’m gonna let it pass me right on by. I have to save my energy for the real stuff—like having the patience for homework battles and making sure we have quality time that doesn’t involve me being exhausted from selling cupcakes or buying 50lbs of candy for Halloween.
4. The Lived-In Look of My House
If the choice is often between cleaning the living room and resting my body, I’m choosing rest…. Most of the time. Lol. My home is for living, not for show. Now don’t get me wrong, it’ll be clean but those clothes I folded two days ago might still be there.
5. Guarding My Child-Free Time with My Life
When I get a moment to myself, that time is sacred. It's not for errands. It’s not for catching up on chores. It's for me. It’s for sleeping in, going on a brunch date, or binge-watching a show that has nothing to do with cartoons. A rested mama is a better mama. Period.
6. The Birthday Party That Isn't for the 'Gram
Big bashes are cool and cute. But they aren’t necessary every single year. We're doing pizza, a cake from the grocery store, and some balloons. And inviting family and close friends. That’s the party. We’re going to focus on the joy and the memories, not on a color-coordinated theme that took 40 hours and my entire paycheck to pull off.
7. My Child’s Family Structure
I will no longer carry the weight or shame society tries to put on me because my son doesn’t have a father in the picture. He has a mother who is more than enough. And an entire extended family who gives an abundance of support. Our family is whole, full of love, and complete exactly as it is. I don't owe anyone an explanation for our beautiful reality.
8. Being the Gatekeeper of My Peace
My life is sacred. That means I am unapologetically ruthless about who I let into it. Whether it's family, friends, or a potential date, if your presence costs me my peace, you can't come in. The cost of admission to my life is Godly peace, and the price is non-negotiable.
9. Saying "No" with My Whole Chest
My social battery is not what it used to be, and I’m okay with that. If I turn down an invitation, it’s not personal, it’s preservation. Sometimes the best thing for me and my family is a locked door, a cozy blanket, and absolutely no plans.
10. Playing Every Single Role
I am the provider and the nurturer. The fun parent and the disciplinarian. The good cop and the bad cop, all in one body. I will not apologize for the whiplash it might give others. I’m doing what has to be done to raise a good human, and I’m proud of it.
Okay, your turn. What’s one thing you’re done apologizing for? Spill the tea in the comments—let’s get free together.
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6 punched me right in the face. 🤣 My son turns 6 Wednesday and he was really looking forward to a party, but momma just doesn't have it. So there will be a pizza party for the class (fries for him), cake and ice cream at home with mommy (bc it's just us), and hit up Sky Zone to jump around. He will have fun no matter what.