Healing from Relationship Trauma While Solo Momming

Sis, healing while raising tiny humans is not for the weak.

You’re doing sacred work—don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Trying to piece your heart back together while making lunchables, wiping tears, and reading bedtime stories? That’s not just multitasking. That’s ministry. That’s resilience in its purest form. And if nobody’s told you lately—you’re doing an amazing job.

And for those of us who’ve survived not just heartbreak, but harm—the kind that leaves invisible bruises and lingering fears—the work of healing feels even heavier. As a survivor of domestic violence, I didn’t get to collapse under the weight of it all. I had to stand up, show up, and keep going. Even when my world felt shattered.

---

My Healing Didn’t Wait for the “Perfect Time”

Truth is, I didn’t get the luxury of pausing life to process my pain. There was no retreat, no long solo trip to Bali for two weeks, no silent mornings with matcha and meditation. Nah—I had a toddler glued to my hip and trauma in my chest.

I was mothering through heartbreak, abandonment, and disappointment. And it was heavy. Some days, I felt like I was barely holding it together. But even in the middle of the mess, I made a decision: I would not pass down my pain. I owed it to myself and my child to break the cycle, even if I had to do it in between dinnertime and meltdowns.

---

---

So How Do You Heal While Solo Momming?

Let me be clear—it ain’t easy, but it is possible. Here’s how I started making room for my own healing, even while holding space for my child:

1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel

You don’t have to be the “strong one” all the time. Let those tears fall when they need to. Journal it out. Scream into a pillow if you have to. Suppressed emotions don’t disappear—they just resurface later, usually in unhealthy ways. So honor your feelings in real time.

2. Set Boundaries Like Your Life Depends on It—Because It Does

No more entertaining raggedy energy. Whether it’s your ex, toxic family members, or even your own guilt—draw the line. You’re building peace for you and your baby, and that starts with protecting your mental space.

3. Prioritize You, Without Apology

Self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s survival. Even if it’s just 15 minutes a day to stretch, breathe, or sip your coffee without somebody hollering “Mommy!”—take that time. You’re not selfish for needing a moment. You’re human.

4. Talk It Out—Therapy Is Not a Dirty Word

Get yourself a safe space to unpack the weight. Whether it’s a licensed therapist, a support group, or a spiritual advisor—find someone who can help you carry the load. You don’t have to do it all alone.

5. Celebrate Every Tiny Win

You got out of bed today? That’s a win. You didn’t text your ex back? Win. You made it through the day without snapping or spiraling? Major win. Healing is not linear, boo. It’s a series of small victories that add up to freedom.

6. Stay Prayed Up and Lean Into God

Most times, the healing you need can’t be found in a journal or a podcast—it’s in God. I had to get real honest in my prayers: “Lord, I’m tired. I’m hurting. I need You.” And guess what? He showed up—with peace, with clarity, with strength! Don’t be afraid to bring your broken pieces to Him. Healing hits different when you’re anchored in Jesus.

---

A Love Note to My Fellow Solo Mom in Recovery

Listen to me: You are not broken. You are becoming.

You’re not failing—you’re evolving. You’re choosing to rise while raising a whole little human. That’s queen behavior, period.

So when the weight feels unbearable, when your heart still aches, when the healing feels slow and the loneliness creeps in—remember who you are. You are a soft place and a strong force. You are rewriting your story. And you’re doing it with grace, grit, and a whole lot of love.

Keep going, mama. You’re not just surviving. You’re healing and thriving—even on the days you don’t feel like it.

Love, light, and Godly healing,

Tiera Nicole