Let’s talk about something that’s been sitting in the back of your mind but maybe hasn’t quite made it to your priority list—dating. Yep, I said it. When was the last time you went on a date? If the answer is “Whew honey, it’s been a minute”, then this one’s for you.
Maybe you’ve been focused on raising your babies, healing from past relationships, or just straight-up too busy to even think about romance. But now? Now you’re kinda, sorta, maybe wondering if it’s time to step back out there—or if you even want to.
Listen, there’s no rush and no pressure. But if love (or even just some fun) is on your mind, let’s talk about how to ease back into dating without losing yourself in the process.
1. Check In With Yourself First
Before you even download an app or say “yes” to a dinner invite, ask yourself:
Am I emotionally ready to date? (Or am I still healing from past hurt?)
What am I looking for right now? (Companionship, fun, a serious relationship?)
Do I even want to date, or do I just feel like I should?
Dating isn’t a requirement—it’s a choice. You don’t owe the world a love story if you’re not ready for one.
2. Shake Off the Dating Jitters
If it’s been a while, the idea of putting yourself out there again can feel… awkward. But let’s reframe that. Instead of thinking about all the “what ifs” (What if I get ghosted? What if it’s a disaster? What if he has a wife?), think of dating as an adventure—one that’s about you just as much as the other person.
Start small—flirt a little when you’re out and about. Smile, make eye contact, and be open to conversation. So that means you gotta fix your face, boo. Leave the RBF at home. Trust me, mine is super glued on so I’m talking to myself.
Boost your confidence—romance yourself first! Get dressed up, take yourself out, and remind yourself that you are that girl.
Get comfortable talking about yourself again—practice in the mirror if you have to!
3. Where Do You Even Start?
The dating game has definitely changed, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find what works for you. A few options:
Dating apps- If you’re open to it, apps like Hinge, Bumble, and even Facebook Dating are options. Just go in with a clear mindset and strong boundaries.
Social events & meetups- Whether it’s a networking event, wine tasting, or a fitness class, put yourself in spaces where you can meet new people naturally.
Through friends- Don’t be afraid to let your trusted circle know you’re open to meeting someone. You never know! Over 80% of marriages are a result of friend hookups so…
Just living your life- Sometimes, love finds you when you’re just out here being your fabulous self. Be open to the unexpected. Just remember to check your RBF every now and again. Lol!
4. Set Boundaries & Expectations Early
Look, you are a whole woman with responsibilities, standards, and a life that doesn’t revolve around a man. So when you start dating:
Be upfront about what you’re looking for. You don’t have to spill your entire love philosophy on date one, but if you know you want something serious, say that.
Your time is valuable—act like it. If someone’s inconsistent or playing games, next.
Your kids don’t need to meet your date. Take your time before introducing anyone into their world. Your peace (and theirs) comes first.
5. Have FUN With It!
Dating should not feel like another job. It’s supposed to be enjoyable, exciting, and maybe even a little spicy. If it feels like a chore, take a step back and reevaluate.
Laugh, flirt, and enjoy the experience. You’re not auditioning to be someone’s wife—you’re seeing if they are even worth your energy.
Don’t settle for mediocrity. You can do bad all by yourself. You deserve effort, consistency, and someone who sees you.
Stay open, but trust your gut. If something feels off, don’t ignore it. Your intuition is undefeated.
Final Word: You Got This, Sis
Whether you’re just flirting with the idea of dating again or fully ready to dive in, do it on your terms. You are a whole woman—not just a mom, not just a potential partner, but a beautiful, deserving soul who has every right to experience love, companionship, and joy.
So take your time, protect your heart, and most importantly, have fun. The right one will find you when you’re living and loving yourself first.
Stay true, stay blessed, and stay in love,
Tiera Nicole
I hear you. I’m still on the fence myself. Not sure if I’m quite ready yet but I do miss the companionship