You don’t have to ride or die. You can just live and thrive. Let me say it louder for the ones in the back: love is not a battle you have to keep losing. You are not required to prove your loyalty through suffering. Struggle love will have you drained, depleted, and defending someone who wouldn’t even defend you. Let’s talk about choosing peace over potential—because you deserve it.
💔 1. The Emotional Toll of Struggle Love
Struggle love hits different when you’re a solo mom. You’re already carrying the weight of the world, and now you’re out here carrying a whole man too.
✔️ You’re in a relationship, but you still feel alone. If you’re the only one doing the emotional labor, making sacrifices, and keeping things afloat—it’s not love, it’s survival mode.
✔️ Potential will have you holding on to a fantasy. Chile, you’re in love with who they COULD be—but you’re suffering with who they actually are. And you can’t build a future on maybes. Especially at our big ol age!
✔️ You deserve reciprocity, not crumbs. If you’re constantly settling for “he’s trying” while you’re giving 110%, it’s time to reevaluate. Love shouldn’t leave you feeling depleted.
🌿 2. Prioritizing Peace Over Potential
Choosing peace is the most powerful form of self-love. You are worthy of a love that feels like home—not a battlefield.
💫 Stop romanticizing struggle. Struggle love will have you glamorizing pain, but real love should feel like safety, not survival.
💫 Release the fixer mentality. Giiiirrrlll, you are not Home Depot, Lowe’s or your Grandpop’s repair shop. It is not your job to fix a broken man or carry the emotional weight he refuses to lift. You already have babies of your own that you’re trying to raise.
💫 Normalize leaving for your peace. Don’t let guilt or loyalty keep you in chaos. Walking away doesn’t mean you gave up—it means you chose you. And you’re allowed to choose yourself without apology.
💫 3. Affirmations for Choosing Yourself
When the urge to “hold on just a little longer” creeps in, remind yourself of who you are:
✨ “I am worthy of a love that pours into me, not one that drains me.”
✨ “I am allowed to leave spaces that disturb my peace.”
✨ “I release the need to fix people who won’t fix themselves.”
✨ “I choose to prioritize my happiness over someone else’s potential.”
✨ “My peace is not negotiable.”
🩷 Sis, Let It Go
You don’t have to be a ride-or-die to prove you’re worthy of love. You can walk away and still be whole. You can choose yourself and still be deserving. Struggle love isn’t a badge of honor—it’s a weight you were never meant to carry. Let it go, honey. Peace looks good on you.
💬 Boo thangs, have you ever held on to potential longer than you should’ve? Or have you broken up with struggle love and found your peace? Share your experiences below—we’re healing together 🩷.
Love, light, & peace
Tiera Nicole
I’m so glad God delivered me from that monster, I prayed for the day!!!!!!
I’ve let go because I’m truly tired of being hurt & disappointed. I’m choosing ME! Took me a few times to walk away but I’m officially done now! Sis is TIRED! Focusing on myself, finishing a few online courses, working on an ebook and becoming a better ME overall.