A Special Solo Mom Spotlight
Meet Clarissa Fields AKA My Mama
So out of aaalllll the spotlights I’ve done and will do, THIS one is the most special to me.
This mama is my absolute best friend, my ride or die, my foundation, my anchor!
MY MAMA!!
Although my mother has been happily married for almost 30 years, her motherhood started off with just she and I. I’m excited to bring this spotlight to you all as a beacon of light, wisdom, and hope that your story as a solo mom is NOT the end but just the beginning!
Introductory Questions
1. Tell us a little about yourself! What’s your story? How did you navigate becoming a solo mom? How did you navigate your transition to becoming a married mom?
Where should I begin? I’m a part of the baby boomer generation and the middle child of 9 to include my bonus sisters from marriage. I was one of the first in my family to have a child out of wedlock—that alone should give you an idea of my upbringing.
Without writing a novel, being a single mom came with many challenges. Fear was my immediate feeling. I was a very young mom and my mom had already transitioned to heaven—I felt alone. But through God’s grace and the support of family, my struggle was minimized. Thank you Jesus!
After 16 years of being a single mom, I got married. You would think this would have been a joyous and smooth transition, but it would turn out to be one of the most stressful times in my life. Trying to blend and balance my current status—single mom—to my future situation—wife and new baby, was overwhelming at times.
You were my “First Born First Love” (as you know I affectionately call you) and you were my whole life. I never wanted you to feel less than what you meant to me. Even now, the thought of that time troubles me.
2. What does a typical day in your life look like?
Even though I’m semi-retired from the Baltimore City Police Department (Praise God for that pension check! Lol!), I’m now the typical 9 to 5’ver living the slow paced life now.
3. How would you describe yourself in three words?
Loving, Grace giving, & merciful
Parenting Journey
4. What was the biggest challenge of being a single mom, and how did you overcome it?
The biggest challenge, as I mentioned, was the fear of the unknown. Motherhood is a lifetime commitment and I had to show up. Maybe deep down I felt so strongly about it because I felt my mom didn’t for me.
My mom unfortunately took her life when I was just 12 years old. But I want to give a shoutout to my stepmother Esther who stepped into the wreckage and tried to make it sail again. And you already know I’m going to give all honor to God as well for helping me through.
5. What’s one thing about solo motherhood that people don’t talk about enough?
I think it really depends on where you are in life. I was a young mom in the 80s where being a solo mom was still sort of taboo, so guilt and abandonment were definitely feelings back then we didn’t talk about. Back then shame was still associated with being a solo mom.
But I also want to talk about how much God truly is The One who got me through all the good and bad. I know we live in a time where there’s a lot of doubts about God but I’m a living testimony of how much He not only brought me through, but brought me OUT! Sorry Tee, you know I can’t talk about life without talking about Jesus! Lol!
6. What’s your proudest “mom moment” so far?
Wow! Forty-two years of motherhood, I’ve had many many many proud moments with both my girls. But right now I would say it’s to watch you, my FBFL, become an awesome mother yourself.
7. Now that you have adult children and grandkids, how has the pursuit of your goals and passions changed?
I honestly have to say, I’ve been so consumed with the happiness of my children and grandchildren that I may have lost myself. But I’m feeling a shift in this thought process. Change is coming!
Self-Care and Balance
8. How did you prioritize “me time” when you were a solo mom? How do you prioritize it now as a grandmother?
I was fully dedicated as a solo mom to you so prioritizing “me time” came infrequently but I would enjoy a good workout at home. Yes, I was apart of the Jane Fonda, Gilad, and Buns of Steel VHS tape era! Lol!
Now I’m beginning to get back to the importance of the early morning hours. This is MY time. It must start with God first. Placing God first somehow encourages me to do more for myself.
9. What’s your favorite way to unwind after a long day?
My end of the day conversations with my husband. Just simply going over the events of our day. It’s a time I can find peace in what I’ve been blessed with. A time to block out the noises of life—my safe space.
10. Do you have a go-to self-care ritual that keeps you grounded?
Honestly, I’ve neglected me for some time, therefore I’m in search of that. Make no mistake, life is good. But I know that by taking better care of me will allow me to do what I love the most—being whole for my loved ones.
But I will say that I would love to get back to working out. I just need that boost. Help me Jesus! Lol!
Inspiration and Advice
11. Who inspires you as a mother, and why?
Losing my mom at such a young age has caused me to recognize the greatness of women and I’ve been surrounded by many. Like right now, watching you has been an inspiration. I wish I had your qualities when I was raising you. But I suppose I can take a little credit for the mom you’ve become. 😊
12. What advice would you give to single moms who might be struggling?
In all things—motherhood, relationships, and life itself—Seek ye FIRST the Kingdom of God and His righteousness. And all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33
Also, your focus should be on your children and what is best for them. They did not ask to be here. Don’t spread yourself too thin or you will set yourself up to be torn.
Many of us have walked this path—you are not alone. You can do this! Matter of fact, you WILL do this and are currently doing it!
13. If you could go back and tell your younger self one thing about motherhood, what would it be?
Motherhood has its challenges but everything that presents a challenge, reaps its reward. Just wait for it.
Fun and Personal
14. What’s a hobby or activity you love doing that your kids think is “weird” or “just like a mom”?
It would have to be my laundry day ritual. It’s me, the black and white movies on TCM, and my clothes! Leave me alone! Lol!
15. If you had a full day to yourself, no responsibilities, what would you do?
Absolutely NOTHING! Wherever the mind may lead me.
16. What’s your favorite mom hack that makes your life easier?
I’m not even sure what a mom hack is but I’m going to take a guess. Lol. My husband makes my life easier. It’s such a relief to know that I don’t have to handle things myself. Now I can enjoy my laziness in peace! Kidding’
17. Name one song that’s the soundtrack of your life right now.
Jill Scott, “Living My Life Like It’s Golden”. There may be moments of copper but overall It’s Golden!
Looking Forward
18. What are your goals or dreams for the next year?
Improve my health—lose a few pounds, eat healthier, and prepare my own meals.
19. How did you teach your children resilience and self-love?
By demonstrating it. I tried not to expose them to toxic situations and people. I had no fear in sharing my “humanism” which included my faults. At the same time I demonstrated my strength by showing up every single day and loving them unconditionally.
20. What legacy do you want to leave for your kids and grandkids?
The legacy of a good life. That I loved Christ who showed me how to love them. And if I had a million dollars, I pray they would have a million and one.
GIVE IT UP FOR MY MAMA!!!!
I want to thank my mother for participating in this spotlight and being so transparent. She’s not much of social media person but she wanted to share her story with all of you in hopes to inspire you to greatness!
I also want to thank her for all she’s done for me and Z. She’s truly an amazing woman. If I could be even half the mother she was/is, then I know my son will be alright.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO THE BEST MOM THIS SIDE OF HEAVEN!🩷🩷🩷
Cheers to Mama she is absolutely beautiful ❤️
What a beautiful contribution to your mom. She is also an awesome sister!